When I'm 26

The summer that Mike & I were in between high school and university (that golden moment), we spent a lot of time outside: going running in James Gardens, doing wind-sprints up the stairs at stadium at Centennial Hill (definitely Mike's idea of a good time, not mine), and lying on the grass in my backyard (more my kind idea of fun), staring up at the sky and trying to imagine the future.

We were about 18/19 years old, still technically teenagers, still bound by curfews and chores, still embraced by the familiar, but on the cusp of something big, bigger, unknown and awe-inspiring. We were leaving home, and tremendously excited about it all (but, to build on Matthew's recent blog about security blankets, fortunately had each other to cling onto for dear life, as we were both heading to Queen's, and were going to live in the same residence, even on the same floor, same wing.)

As I recall it, one August sun-dappled afternoon, probably just days before Mike left (ahead of me, to Queen's, to start football camp...I would arrive in Kingston a few weeks later), we were out in my backyard (on Hartfield Court, just one street / one shortcut through one backyard over to Edenbrook Hill) talking about what we imagined our lives were going to be like, when we were older. You know, like ADULTS. After university.

This was almost impossible to imagine, since it implied that there would be a time when university would be over, a concept that more or less could not be envisaged: university was The Future (ok as it turned out Mike managed to, shall we say, extend slightly more than average his university stint....like ten times the average....).

But what I remember most of our conversation was Mike's 18 yr old clarity, his confident determination on two points in particular:

1) he was going to get Married. he wasn't sure to who, but he was definitely going to do it (this was a major, serious declaration. I for one could make no such general declaration at that particular moment: it was possible that I might have other things to do, though I couldn't specifically name them at the time)

2) BUT. he was not going to rush into it. he was going to wait. until he met exactly The Right Girl. in fact, to make sure that she was The One, he was going to wait a really, really long time: "Meghaghn," (his unique/only-Mike-could-think-to-pronounce-it-that-way way of saying my name), he said boldly, "I'm going wait until I'm 26."

We both held out breath for a moment, looking at each other, then up at the clouds, trying hard to imagine what life could possibly be like at 26. It seemed very, very far away. But it also seemed like, if one was going to get married, waiting all the way to 26 would be a pretty good way to make sure you had all the time in the world to do every single other thing you ever wanted to do before that juncture. Ultimately, it seemed like a pretty good idea.

So, we promised each other that we would check in on one another (which of course we'd do anyways, since we'd still be hanging out together EVERY DAY, right??) when we were 26, to make sure that we (or at least Mike) had gotten married. But also to make sure that each of us had met The One. In order to determine how we would know who The One was, we both felt pretty strongly that it was important to refer frequently to The Princess Bride (the book or the movie, but preferably, in this particular case, the movie, which also had a lot of good stuff to say on 'Mawwiage").

Well, 26 came and went, and neither of us was exactly close to getting married. But we were doing good things, leading good lives, and finding our ways, slowly but surely. And then one day, clear as day, Mike knew he had met The One. 26 or not, it didn't matter if he hadn't done every single thing he ever wanted to do before getting married: he realized and knew that, with Sarah, he wanted to share life, to experience it all together, through marriage.

Thinking back to lying on the grass in my backyard, with Mike, both of us trying to imagine the future, I'm happy for him, happy to know that he found what he dreamed of, that he lived his dream, with Sarah, and with Lucas & Emily. I'm glad Mike waited for The One, and at the same time (even though he waited a little past 26) that he didn't wait too long. Mike lived well, beautifully, and with such love - and such a Mawwiage - in his life.

Miss you, P.