Great conversations

My relationship with Mike is defined by a number of great conversations. I’d like to share some of these conversations with everyone.

We started as friends early in university but our first meaningful conversation started on-call in our 1^st year of medical residency. We covered many topics during our late nights such as…how we managed stressful situations with patients …determining what the proper flowers for a Fall wedding might be …and does he get a say in that area anyway?…Was he really a nerd for liking Star Wars that much??? Will we ever sleep normally again?

Sarah & Trisha promptly became a big part of our chats…mostly how did we each get so lucky? Our conversations evolved over time …How do we become kick-ass husbands, super fantastic dads, dependable friends with our busy schedules, and caring and skilled physicians? These were the big questions we thought we might collaborate on from time to time.

Our conversations suddenly changed at Coffee & Co downtown one afternoon in December 2006. Trisha and I lost our son Callum to cancer the month before and I hadn’t seen Mike since the springtime…when I had learned of Mike’s illness. We grieved with each other, started hugging a lot more, and agreed that shedding tears would become our routine with each other. Interestingly enough, we continued to talk mostly about how to be kick-ass husbands, super fantastic dads, dependable friends, and caring skilled physicians now faced with our own personal nightmares.

Over time, I will admit I had a few one-way conversations with Mike …when he listened to my grief and helped encourage me in my stupidly stubborn and unrealistic approach to continuing my pursuits to be a great husband, dad, friend and physician. (Matt P. was a great friend in this area as well. I always felt like the 3 of us had a special connection in our unwillingness to pursue anything less than what we put our bull-headed minds to.) Many ensuing conversations covered a lot of emotions …fear, joy, sadness, delight, satisfaction, empathy, compassion, frustration +++. We also covered a few very important life principles each time…that usually could be boiled down to this…continue to be the person you know you are and can be…have the courage and strength to move forwards and face life head-on.

Tragically, I was there when the time came to be on the other end of a few 1- way conversations with Mike…listening to him try to navigate the remaining year, then months, then weeks of his life. Coincidentally, the blog Jackie wrote the other day has a connection to me as well…Mike had just come from coffee with me at Starbuck’s maybe 5min before they bumped into each other. That was a real treat to have that time with Mike. It remains the only time ever that I called in to work to say I would be 30min late…because 2hrs just wasn’t long enough to talk with Mike that day. I knew then how special these moments were. They felt like a gift to me to cherish forever.

In the time since Mike died, I must admit I have continued my conversations with him…at the hospital, at home, at City Park, at the Starbuck’s downtown, and at his home with Sarah and the kids. In a very selfish gesture on my part, I told Sarah I’d cut her lawn each week last summer. I looked forward to this responsibility so I could continue my conversations with Mike and have an opportunity to see Sarah, Emily, and Lucas each week. I could always count on leaving their home feeling stronger and more determined to be the husband, dad, physician, and friend I know I can be.

I’m sure each of you have shared many similar conversations with Mike in your own ways. He touched all of our lives for the better and I am forever grateful to have had these moments with him.

Thank you Sarah and Mike for enriching my life.

Damon