Happy New Year

Welcome 2012!

The new year always begs for us to look back and plan ahead.  To remember, then to set goals for the coming year.  We continue to do that as we remember Mike.  Remember.  Celebrate.  Grieve.  Rejoice.  Hope.  Grow.  Reminisce.  Cry. Wonder.  Love.  Laugh.

This blog has been a very important process for me.  This format has helped me to document memories of Mike and in turn, share them.  In sharing, the memories have become more alive to me.  Rather than blocking the sadness, it has allowed me to look more deeply and see more clearly to all that is Mike.  It helps me to be hopeful of, not fearful, of my memories.  What others have contributed has helped me laugh and cry and feel connected and stay connected to all of you, through Mike.  More than anything, I want Mike to be remembered.  This blog helps me to know this is true.  It helps me to be a better mother to Lucas and Emily, in remembering Mike.  There are times my jokes and mannerisms with them are all Mike-- it just comes out.  Mike lives on in me.  And surely Mike lives on in Lucas and Emily-- just watch Lucas say 'pass the ham' (when he means 'jam');  watch Lucas create a detailed picture or become sooooo frustrated when it doesn't live up to his mind's eye;  watch Emily patiently and successfully use tweezers to pull out a plastic piece from the 'Operation' game (thanks Matthew and Tonya!);  watch Emily dance-dance-dance!

January will be the last month for our collective contributions to this blog.  Throughout the year, several people had asked how long this blog will continue, in this format.  I've mentioned a few times that I had hoped to continue for a full year.  We've just about completed that year-- with this month of January being the last month.

This post will be #282 for this year.  I'm hopeful we will reach #300 by the end of this month.  I feel really good about that.  We'd had so much to say.  Because of this, we've wanted to read.  We've had readers from Canada, of course, the USA, France, Hungary, Mexico, Sri Lanka, Australia, and Switzerland (I know some of you get around.....!).  To date, we've had 12,179 visits to this site.  That also makes me feel good.

I envision this blog evolving in some way, though I'm not sure exactly how.  I will likely continue to post thoughts now and then.  Some of you may also want to continue, but not on any set schedule.  I think starting in February, I'll go back through last years posts, day by day, so I still have something to read daily.  We may be inclined to add comments to old posts, as they are re-read, filling in gaps or connecting ideas from previous posts.

This blog has been a true group effort.  I wasn't quite sure what to expect when we started.  I know a few of you had reservations.  But it has been more than I could have asked for, in many, many ways.  It is difficult to capture the mountain of gratitude I feel to those of you who have written and to those of you who have read what has been written.  Though I will always have more to say, January completes our circle.